Reposted from January, 2019.
I recently found this applicable in my life again. I have battled my whole life to view myself as God sees me. Early in life (and often ) I was rejected and humiliated by someone who should have protected and loved me. So, I’ve always been a people pleaser. I also overcompensate for the worthless individual I was made to feel like at a young age; so much so that I can become overbearing. I “try” so hard sometimes to be seen as the child of God that I am. I try to be “likable”, which is futile if you think about it. I shouldn’t waste energy “trying” to be seen as the Child of God that I KNOW I am. I AM that child of God because of His free and great love for me. I AM compassionate, loving, kind AND lovable because I am a daughter of the King! Satan keeps me spinning like a top when I focus on the lie that I am unworthy. What a waste of time. What a waste of not being available to be used by God while my focus is on whether or not someone will accept me for who I was created to be; when my wheels are spinning to “make sure I don’t mess up”. BUT, PRAISE BE TO GOD that what might have sent me away hurting or angry now brings me to my knees asking the Father to show me why I do what I do and then show me His truth. Praise to God that I can GENUINELY see the love of God in the other person and I KNOW that there is no sense in “trying”; since God’s love is in both the other person and myself, life will be blessed for both of us and God will navigate the direction of our interactions. So, as a reminder to myself and anyone for whom this devotional rings true…
A very dear friend of mine recently prayed that God would free me from the filter of past hurts. She prayed that Jesus would heal me from wounds made by individuals I had once trusted and that I would no longer view myself through the eyes of anyone but my Heavenly Father.
My friend is very wise and knows me well; she knows the rejection of my past and the pain which went with it. She prayed, I believe, as the Holy Spirit led her to pray. She prayed these things so when someone says or does something which reminds me of a past pain I will be encouraged. She prayed these things, so I would not be prompted to sift other’s words and actions through my skewed and faulty filter of past sufferings.
But, “how” do I get to this place of not analyzing everything said or done to me when it triggers a feeling of past pain or rejection? I take my friend’s prayer into consideration and I begin to ask God to free me from the former filter by changing how I screen other’s words and actions. I begin to ask God to change my filter to His. (John 15:12)
As I continue in the Word my heart and mind begin to change as the Holy Spirit works in and through me. My filter begins to change. I can trust God to heal old wounds and to help me better understand current situations and people. I can begin to see how my Heavenly Father sees not only me, but the other person as well. (Phil 2:1-4)
My filter changes from a past, egocentric view to a more unselfish and Spirit-led perspective. When I allow Jesus Christ to lead my thoughts, feelings and emotions I am better able to sift other’s words and actions through His loving filter instead of my own narrow-minded view. When I do this, I can look at others more compassionately.
What a change we would see in our world today if we all asked God to change our filter to His. Maybe your filter is not the filter of past rejection and hurt; maybe it is a filter of deceit and being let down. Maybe it is the filter of abuse or alcoholism. The point is, we each have a history. We each have filters we screen life through, but when our filters are skewed by things contrary to God’s Love and His Word, we need to pray for His filter and not our own. We need to pray for His eyes to see other’s as He sees them. (1Thes 3:12)
“Heavenly Father, I thank You for friends who pray with and for me. I thank You for the wisdom You provide to me through Your Word and through others You place in my life. Lord, may I remain in Your Word and seek a change of filter from mine to Yours. As I have been encouraged by my friend, may You provide me opportunity to pay that encouragement forward to someone else. I praise You and I thank You for Who You are and how You see me; I thank You for Your truth and Your love. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.”
Kami R. Lobner