I was experiencing self-pity this week. I felt lonely and wanted someone to talk to and to spend time with. My husband and I work opposite hours and time together can quickly get away from us. I tried to make time with a friend, but we had conflicting schedules. I spent more time alone this week than I usually do. It made me preoccupied with myself and my feelings. Instead of using my “alone time” to fellowship with God, I wallowed in self-pity because I missed people. I thought I had no one to talk to, when in fact God was just waiting patiently for me to spend time with Him.
My introverted friends might not understand my loneliness in this situation. I don’t really understand it myself. God created me as I am; an extrovert who loves the company of others. I do not think God made a mistake in His design. I do believe I sometimes forget that His company is the most important. I don’t “see” Him. I don’t “hear” Him. I can’t “hug” Him. So, I look for someone I can see, or hear, or hug. I sometimes look for human interaction over time with my Lord. God knows this about me. I am no surprise to Him.
Even though I am no surprise to Him, He continually surprises me. I read from three different devotionals I have and God spoke the same thing to me through each one of them. He reminded me that my pity and preoccupation with self were just distractions to keep my focus off of Him. He reminded me that salvation is not the only thing found in Christ Jesus. I was reminded in these devotionals that Jesus is the only One Who can truly fill the void in my heart. My soul has this empty shape inside of it which can only be filled by His Presence.
I wasted a few days this week being frustrated and sad. I had more time alone than I usually do and I could have spent some of that time with God. In the end, God revealed His wisdom and taught me something valuable. He taught me to put Him first. He reminded me that being a Christian involves more than just showing up on Sundays. It means completely opening up and surrendering my life to Christ. It means bending a knee in complete worship to the only One Who can truly fill the void in my life.
My prayer is this, “Heavenly Father, thank You for who You created me to be. Thank You for placing within each one of us a void which can only be filled by Your Presence. Thank You, Jesus, for Your patience and Your gentle nudging as You guide me back into fellowship with You. Thank You for the body of believers and the fellowship found within it. Protect my mind and my emotions daily, Lord, as the Enemy tries to lure me into a pit of self-pity and loneliness. Remind me, Father, to call out to You in praise and thanksgiving. When I do, I trust Your Spirit to fill the void within my heart. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
Hebrews 12:1-2 Ps 86:7 Acts 4:12
Kami R. Lobner